Mastizaade Movie Review: Sleazy And Crass

First things first, Mastizaade is an adult comedy but it ain't no American Pie so don't let your expectations soar too high.

Mastizaade revolves around two friends Aditya Chotia (Vir Das) and Sunny Kele (Tusshar Kapoor), who are blessed with chics-ray a la X-ray, a superpower, which helps them to see through a woman's clothing. The two are big time pervs, who visit sex and alcohol addiction rehab centers to find new preys to satiate their never-ending jism ki pyaas.

However, when their superpower fails to work on twin sisters Laila Lele and Lily Lele, who run a sex addiction rehab center, their lives take a 180 degree turn. While Chotia falls for the nerdy Lily, who stammers every time she utters any sexual innuendo, Kele falls head over heels for Laila, the commitment-phobic sex bomb. However, Lily is engaged to a paraplegic, Deshpremi Singh (Shaad Randhawa) and is soon to tie the knot with him in Pattaya. The two friends follow the twin sisters to Thailand and there they meet their strict father (Asrani) and gay brother Das (Suresh Menon), who wants to get into bed with Tusshar's character just like his sister Laila. What happens next forms the rest of the plot and believe me it's too torturous to narrate it here.

Despite their great comic timing and sincere efforts, Tusshar Kapoor and Vir Das fail to salvage this joke of a limp script though they do manage to elicit some guffaws. Sunny Leone has nothing much to do but strut around in her stilettoes in a bikini. Thankfully, she has mastered the art of doing it tastefully. Our poor heroine doesn't have many dialogues and has been objectified like no tomorrow. Same is the case with rest of the female actors including the busty Gizele Thakral, who is playing Titli Bobna (yeah another dual meaning name). Asrani is playing U.R. Ashit (there you go again) and his character is as good as his name. Shaad Randhawa as Deshpremi is totally wasted. There's also Riteish Deshmukh in a cameo appearance. He is the film's real Mastizaada, who talks in beeps, after all one has to take care of our sanskari Censor Board.

Milap Zaveri, who has written dialogues for films like Masti, Grand Masti and Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3, has marked his directorial debut with the movie and  though we felt that he must have kept the best dialogues and script for his pet project, he disappointed us. The film is regressive, repulsive and makes you regret wasting your time and money. If holding a phallus shaped objects in between your legs is humour, then this is the funniest film of all times. There's is a lot of oohs and aahs throughout the film and the humble banana has a major role to play in the movie as it appears time and again, in all sizes and colours. The film not only mocks women but also makes fun of homosexuals in the most distasteful way possible. Suresh Menon's character is a stereotypical lip-biting gay, who makes all kind of lewd and pansy gestures whenever he sees Tusshar. But that's not all! It's even offensive to animals as there is a scene which suggests that the two male leads are making out with a horse. Yes you read it right! We can go on and on but will stop here.

The screenplay is nonexistent and the songs, which pop up after every fifteen minutes, only make it more boring. The dialogues are crass and most of them are in rhymes. Guess the makers thought that they don't need a script as they have the sultry Leone as the female lead. That said we have to say she definitely is the film's only highlight.

All in all Mastizaade is a film you can easily give a miss.